If you have beliefs about God, they are ridiculous. I see a lot of people picking on Romney because of his Mormon beliefs, and I acknowledge that his beliefs as a Mormon are ridiculous. But Obama is a Christian. That means he believes that God could not forgive mankind for a trick he pulled on Adam and Eve, so he impregnated a virgin with himself so that he could send his own ghost to himself and make himself a scape goat to himself on our behalf; and then he became a zombie, so if we cannibalize him we won’t have to go to the place he created to punish us for what he did to us. Now, I’m no fan of Romney, and I will not be voting for him, but it’s unreasonable to hold his Mormonism to a different standard than Obama’s Christianity. Whatever you believe about God, if you have God beliefs they are ridiculous. I don’t say this mockingly. I once had God beliefs. I recognized that they were ridiculous, and I abandoned them. But I was not less intelligent when I held them.

I mean you can, but you’ll look dumb.

The argument that babies are born atheist is meant as a challenge to the idea that everyone believes something. We aren’t talking about the ideas that four year-olds have developed. We’re talking about fresh from the womb, unindoctrinated innocents. They neither believe nor disbelieve in angels or the holy ghost or Jesus or heqaven or any other dogmatic concepts or even the general deistic or pantheistic concepts which all clearly require some ability to cognate beyond the id. The problem comes in when people think atheist has to mean “having rejected theism.” That definition of atheist clearly does not fit babies.

Even the Catholic Church acknowledges that there is a problem. They blame it on the 60s free-love movement, but they acknowledge it. Also, when we are snarky about the RCC child abuse problem, what we’re really referencing is the cover-up of the RCC child abuse problem - which is a real thing, and it was disgusting.

Fundamentalism and young-Earth creationism says the bible is literally true and scientifically valid. Any atheist who uses the light before the stars and sun argument with a non-literalist is talking at cross purposes. However, it is perfectly valid to point out to someone with a “God said it. I believe it. That settles it,” mentality that there’s no firmament, that the moon is not a light source, and that you can’t have a day and night before the sun and moon were “created.”

The other day I was out digging in my back yard when I suddenly dug up an old box containing gold plates with weird glyphs on them. An angel appeared and told me to put them in a hat and he gave me special glasses to help me read them. They said that when Jesus came back to America and appeared to the lost tribes of Israel, that WAS the second coming. He says everything that happened after that was just stuff people made up. He’s not coming back, Paul was full of shit, Joseph Smith embellished so he could screw a bunch of different women and call them his “wives,” and Mohammad was just a pedophile con artist (as if that wasn’t obvious.)

Don’t ask to see the gold plates. Times are tough. I took them to a gold and silver exchange, and by now they’ve been melted into bling or teeth or something.

Anyway, happy Easter.